The other lady

We are definitely a foolish when it comes to love. You can't make yourself stop wanting to do dumb things when you have fallen hard for someone. You even let your guard down but all they do is taking advantage of you being calm and soft and that is so fucked up.

You are trying so hard not to create a scene because you know at the end of every arguments, you're the one that is hurting. You try not to weep when you find something that breaks your heart. There's nothing you can do when you have no power over them. You are nobody and whenever you ask them about it, it will always be ended up with "we aren't a couple so you have no right to ask me about this or even question me about this" kind of situation. What else can you do? You know that you are an option and what they say is true. You can't argue if they do something that hurts you so bad because you are the one who has fallen in love, not them. 

You feel hopeless and worthless. It's so hard to trust again. You don't want to give up but deep down you know you love them. You are positive that this is not the love that you deserve because this is one-sided love. It's like looking at someone who doesn't see you. That shit hurts like hell, dude.

You’re battling your emotions. You’re battling your feelings. You’re battling reality. You’re battling everything people are telling you and believing your fantasies. You’re battling your own intuition. Your gut. Your logic. Your heart. It’s a battle you can’t win. A war you can’t stop. It’s losing over and over again. It’s surrendering to something that will eventually destroy you.

There's always a lady that he's very close with and he keeps saying that she's just a friend, but you know it's more than that. You know there's always something with both of them. One never says that he misses you and I sayang you to you but he told her that. How can you cope with stuffs like that when you already cut everyone that is in your past for the sake of you want to be a better person and you don't want to hurt them, because you care. Do they care about you? Do they think that saying those sweet things to another person could hurt you? If you do the same thing as they did, it'll always be your fault because of who you are back then, because of your past.  

You know you can't compete with a pretty lady that can make him smile with her cute little face and such a cute attitude. You know you can't compete with a lady that makes him says i miss you every single time they have been in contact. You can't compete with a lady that he is so proud to call darling in public. It's not her fault. She doesn't know what he means to you. You can't compete because you'll lose.

You’re questioning your self-worth every night. You are constantly wondering why you’re not enough, why you never got picked, why you’re looking at yourself and not liking anything about you. Lying in bed over-thinking everything you have said and done because it must have been something you said, it must have been you. Feels like you’ll never be loved because no one was able to love you back. No one you wanted truly wanted you. you’re never the chosen one. You’re amplifying every minor flaw. You know no one you wanted truly wanted you.